the D--word

de·men·tia

   [dih-men-shuh, -shee-uh] Show IPA

noun Psychiatry .

severe impairment or loss of intellectual capacity and personalityintegration, due to the loss of or damage to neurons in the brain.

Origin:
1800–10; < Latin dēmentia madness, equivalent to dēment- outof one's mind ( see dement) + -ia noun suffix

(copied from www.dictionary.com)

this D-word is keeping everyone in the household worried and i actually lost sleep over it yesterday.

it had been a tough weekend this week. seeing how my grandmother's situation deteriorated to the extend of her having illusions and bad mood swings. it came as a shock to me as i witnessed how she could make blind accusations and even hit grandpa and herself. she has lost trust in all people in the household. she has made up stories about grandpa, dad, mom, brother, aunt, and uncle.

'did you convert to a muslim?'- she asked my brother yesterday. then she became emotional and moaned about the loss of everything if he did. all these in just 2 days.

what about the coming days? i have also noticed that she likes to close the door of her room and stay inside for quite a while. it is as if she is keeping some secrets in the room which she does not want others to know about. what will happen to grandpa who sleeps with her every night in the same room? what if she wakes up in the middle of the night and gets into one of her demented states? and to make it worse, grandpa is almost totally deaf! he would not know what she is shouting.

gosh, i am having headache just thinking about it. and to think that her physical health is improving after aunt's nurturing in the last few months. the improvement could actually be a bane to her mental health state. as she is physically fitter, her speech has become more poisonous. there is clarity in her speech and also very hurtful things being uttered at the same time. 'whoever made this piece of cake must have the intention to kill with the amount of salt being put inside.'

maybe it is time to change her diet. i read somewhere that too much protein in the brain could trigger this reaction. so no more soy drink which is laden with protein in the morning. somebody has to talk her into eating her oats which might calm her down.

getting a home companion might be a solution but can we find her? heck, it is even hard to find a caterer for the one-month when my mom leaves for australia. who is going to cook all the meals and go to the market? me?? i might be the one getting depressed next.

HELP!!!

facial products hording time

hmmh....whatever needs to be done on the same day should be done on the same day right???

but blogging can always wait....not too long till the event has become stale lah.
was supposed to blog yesterday but got so engrossed in x-factor on tv and then an episode of the amazing race that i shelved the blogging idea till late today.

woke up at 10a.m....ahh....so good to wake up late. then it was time to manage my cafe and also did my part-time job of co-managing a few other cafes. busy wooiii.

then it was reading every word in the newspaper regarding budget 2012 and check to see which one apply to me.

facebook made it possible to know some of the content of the budget yesterday night since i was busy in klcc while the pm was announcing his plan.

so what is it for me???

half a month bonus to come in december's pay.....going to that insurance deduction.

salary adjustment. yeah!!!!

retirement to be adjusted to 60. i think this is good news for me too. can't think of retirement yet. i might go bonkers if my mind is idle and has nothing to do if i am still capable of doing something.

what i don't like about the budget is just this one- to build 150 futsal courts around the country. whose idiotic idea is it?? is that the way to get healthy citizens? why not build swimming pools??!!! swimming is such a good activity and their health benefits are definitely more than playing futsal. you will get more leg injuries with more futsal courts yo!

in the end, my concern is, where is the government going to get all the money to fund the budget for next year since there are so many goodies for everyone- cash and book vouchers for students, deduction of school fees from primary to secondary school, deduction of hospital registration fee for seniors, salary adjustment, etc.

ok lah..let the government worry about their budget while i worry about mine.

and yesterday was not a day to think about budget when you had isetan launching their member's anniversary sale for three days.

what a rush.

7a.m. go to work.

12.35p.m. leave from bidor.

reaches tm at 1.30p.m. had some porridge.

1.45 p.m. zoomed to kl.

2.47p.m. entered the parking lot in klcc and found a space within minute.

i only stayed in klcc for 1 hour and 58 minutes as the time mentioned on the parking ticket machine. haha.....i did not need to pay a cent as i got 2 hours free for shopping at isetan. phew.....just 2 more mins and i would have to fork out a few ringgit. talking about good time management.

so now you want to know what i bought???

if this store is opened, i might get a bucket. i heard it is good from one blog i read...but it is not going to be cheap as well. so go and check it out opposite maybank.

all right, shopping was only restricted to isetan and i really wanna make it out of kl before 5p.m. i brought my shopping list along and had no problem making decisions.

but my brother-in-law and sis in aussie had a harder time deciding what to buy from shiseido.

so after much deliberation....these are what i got from them. the packet there and those 3 small samples are gifts for you all lah.

surprisingly it was not crowded at all in the cosmetic section. phew! i even had time to chat with all those shiseido girls and guy. it was like meeting old friends hahahaha.

now my own shopping. my half a year supply of facial products is complete in this trip.

my free gift from sk-11. love the limited edition red pouch. really big and shiny and roomy.

aah.....two more free gifts from sk-11, which i redeemed using my accumulated yearly reward points.

and these are what i got. so i guess you can guess which brand i chose to be loyal to now. but i am still sticking to my creme de la mer for night cream.

i got quite an amount of cash vouchers ; ) rm210. haha....i know i know....u know how much i have spent lah. dun ask.

decided to make one round in the clothes department, found nothing i like.

then decided to blow all the vouchers in the newly opened supermarket department which is in concourse level now. gosh, there was so much food to try.

so i got a trolley and started putting things in the trolley. i did not have a calculator with me and i really did not know how much i was putting in. just took and walked away to the next aisle.

so here are some stuff i got. almonds, pistachio, lays, noodles, yoghurt, ritter sports, sanitary napkin and sweets for the kids.

the total amount: less than rm215. boy was i happy! really happy as i pulled out a 5ringgit note. wakakakakka....glad i did not have to make another trip to isetan to use those vouchers this month. someone must be helping me calculating everything as i was shopping because i really did not keep a count.

so after 1 hour and 58 mins, it was time to leave.

expected some congestion on the roads as it was friday and it was raining. luckily it was not too bad.

bumper to bumper as soon as i entered jln duta tol. so many lanes from the tol booth had to merge into 3 lanes on the highway. so you can imagine the chaos.

and oh, when i was nearing jln duta tol on my way to kl, i noticed all cars really slowed down at the 60kmph sign. did they also see post i read about the traffic camera locations on facebook?? but that 60 speed limit was really slow and made it worse. it was not helping at all to make the traffic smoother. someone better revise that please.

i reached home before a quarter past 6. wakakaka....what an accomplishment.

no more cosmetic shopping till next year.

now some updates from the home garden.

it is like a jungle out there hahhaha....but we have edible fruits now- passion fruits!!! and there are still many hanging from the vines waiting to be plucked.

this is a bowl waiting to be eaten when they are riper. only one is fragrant now. will teach the kids what passion fruit is later. ok i won't eat in front of them but i will let them share one. ;)

tau sar peah from my cafe world playing kid. wakakaka.....she is so good to me.

this is the first time i am trying this brand.

they are not individually wrapped. yeah. save plastic!!!

ok, time to take a bath. just had an overwhelmingly dramatic and tensed session with my grandma. and 30 minutes later, she was acting as if nothing had happened earlier.

i am flabbergasted.

brand loyalty

i love flipping through star 2 on thursday because it has everything to do with fashion!

yeah to spring/summer 2012 collection of clothes. naah i did not read that from the star. i got that from the internet. no, i cannot afford those colourful and cute designer dresses but i am sure similar designs will be made by more affordable brands. love those bright summery colours.

nowadays i seldom look at beauty product articles. every article will be singing praises about their products, which one can you buy? i think i have to learn to be loyal to a brand only. having a mixture of products from different brands is not going to help that already bad face to adapt to the different formula in the cream. it is quite hard when i get samples from time to time. haha...

i heard it is ok to stick to a brand for many years because with technology, they will always improve and change the formula.

fast forward to friday, tomorrow- i will be dashing through the cosmetic counters in isetan again looking to replenish my facial cream supply and let me keep my fingers crossed that i am sticking hard to my shopping list. anyway, i only have about 2 hours there as i have to rush back for a class at night. well, happy people can make fast choices. so one can actually make many many many choices in that 120 minutes hor???? what will i get??? ;)

everything instant

we live in an 'instant' world nowadays. everything has to be instant.

instant noodles. instant start-up. instant answer. instant recall. instant mark. instant result. instant coffee. instant gratification... and the list goes on.

hence, it is not a surprise when anger management is badly handled. we expect things to go our way and when it does not, we just explode.

take the stupid computer for example. we have come to rely so much on that device that life seems so empty without it. on one hand, it is a path to a whole new endless world but on the other hand, it is a dead end as well, the end of your social life.

i got so pissed with the home pc this morning that i felt like formatting it straight away so it won't have that speed of a snail. the problem is, i dunno how and there is that cd which i cannot find. i think it is time i change to windows 7. my brother would say, 'i told you so.' now where the heck did i put that disc? aarrghhh!!!!

i know i know. i should not be made to lose my temper because of the stupid pc...but i just can't help it. how i wish it has never been invented- with all the entertainments channels available, i have come to rely so so much on it and not to mentioned addicted to it that i can lose my head if things go wrong.

i hardly watch any tv nowadays because i can get them all online. games?? besides physical activity, i also have that addiction to facebook games. haiz.....

this invention called computer is really a double-edge sword.

so if you have a kid, do do do steer him or her away from the computer. i am sure there will be less out burst and confrontations.

the restlessness this morning affected me for half a day. i can't even digest the news i read in the paper today. the heart and head kept on throbbing and i was on the brink of losing my sanity! wakakaka.....

i was not the only one losing her marbles this morning. my grandmother too was babbling nonsense that it really got on my nerves. i could only sit down and absorb all her bashings on dad. how i felt like screaming at that time.

it made me think how different the culture in the west is compared to the filial piety concept in the east. in the west, an adult is expected to move out of their parent's house and start living on their own or they will be ridiculed for being tied to the mother's apron string. and in the west, parents can't wait for their children to leave their nest. i apologise if i get this wrong.

and in the east, well, in my case, i still have 3 generations staying in one house and i have a grandmother who goes cranky when she does not see my father in the morning. then she starts saying how irresponsible he is. it happens once in a while when she has nothing to do and thinks too much. i felt so much negative vibes in the house today.

urrghh...what a morning i had.

luckily the group of kids who came brought back some sanity into me and i escaped for a while from the pressure balloon. i had to do my job no matter how i was feeling then.

we even celebrated a birthday and had new york cheese cake from secret recipe and some junk food. the cake was really really filling.

today, i can't wait to get out of my house. let me just finish packing and i will be on my way.

october is here

mini custard fruit tart anyone???

got this from a colleague for the weekend. it is rm0.40 for each one and i got 25 of them. mom said they were sweet and scolded me for buying the whole box. dad said, there were barely enough. it is best eaten refrigerated and they do not last that long. anyway, as i am typing this, there is only 1 more left in the container. only dad and i take them. haha...no one to fight with us.

my colleague also baked the cheese one but i prefer the cold custard and fruits.

these tarts are perfect for a gathering or a party. well, i know what i am bringing if there is any invitation to one. haha....but i don't think i am going to any ;(

it is now october and in few months time, it is the end of the year. how time flies.

well, it signals the beginning of new seasons of my favourite shows too-

gossip girl, grey's anatomy, amazing race, modern family and glee.

unfortunately, drop dead diva is taking a break. i can't wait for the new season! it is really a great show with a great female protagonist. my sister introduced it to me and i have been a fan since.

and this month, i am attending a concert too....not a sammi cheng concert haha. i don't even know how much i am paying for the concert, i just want to go and since i saw someone i know posting he is going on facebook, i tagged along and told him to get me a ticket as well. i posted earlier on facebook asking if anyone was interested, but no one replied.

i am excited to see michael bolton!!!! yeah i know, i am old. can't wait to hear him belt out his ballads. i hope it is going to be a great great concert and i hope david foster don't short-change us just because he is doing it in malaysia. i have watched the states' version on tv which also had charice. hope to have a great month.

60?

retirement is a topic which has gained the highlight in the newspapers these few days.

there is talk of the private sector extending the retirement age from 55. and i have also been told by a friend that the government might increase the civil service retirement age to 60. the retirement age for civil servant now is 58.

if they are really extending the retirement age, well, i will sign the form. after all, i can choose to leave whenever i want as i am not bound by the pension scheme. many are shock to hear that i did not sign the scheme when we were offered to change scheme. i have no special reason for not signing, i just don't feel like being bound by the contract.

some say i am foolish as i will miss out on the monthly pension. i will leave the service with a lumpsum and who knows, i might finish using it in a few years.

the newspaper features a few interviews on how savings run out as soon as retirement begins. well that is indeed scary. and with the average life expectancy rate of a woman being put at 76, one better save a lot for retirement age right?

at the moment, i think i will have only me alone to take care of. there is no children's education to think about. touch wood, let me stay hale and hearty. that is the invisible enemy in my opinion.

i work and i play at the same time. i am not going to wait till i retire to go travel the whole world. by that time, i think i will be too old to be adventurous to explore. aaah...the joy of seeing new places and experiencing life in another country. i am not going to wait till i walk as slow as a snail or with 3 legs to do that.

i take each year as if it was my last in the service. hence i will put in what i have in my work and also plan my holidays as i fear that i will not have the chance in the coming year. silly?

i think i will continue to work if i can. staying idle is not that good, well, i know it is not good for me. working will keep me active and nimble. when it is holidays, i will go for holidays. going for holidays the whole year and not work? i might lose my sense of purpose in life.

another week is ending....

i love my catered lunch!!! there is always a sense of anticipation when the tiffin carrier arrives on the table at work. i learn to be less choosy with vegetables provided. it is good for me that way.

and guess how much i pay for my lunch? just rm3.50.

so below is what i got today. usually there is a meat dish but today it is all vege, but i am not complaining. it is so yummy and the rice is so fragrant too. hmm....well maybe i was hungry.

i usually make whatever i get into 2 portions, more saving. i save some for dinner too.

so don't you say i don't take rice ah. the rice helps me feel fuller when there are less dishes.

do i see dried scallop sprinkled on the mushrooms?? ;) i am saving this dish for my dinner. isn't this better than a meat dish???

i am so thankful to the cook for her generosity and solving my meals problems. a few colleagues are interested to order from her too after seeing what i had for the past few days. the food at the canteen is sometimes not reliable. no, correction, most of the time not reliable. they cook too little that vegetables finish by 11.45a.m. when i go down at 12noon, i only see empty trays. that really pisses me off. so you don't want to do my business, i go and look for someone who wants my money lah.

and i have more yummy food for later. this one is thanks to facebook.

many have complained about the new changes, but i just accept whatever they do. after all, the service is free and i can still see whatever i usually see. it will take a bit of getting used to, but i am sure everyone will get a hang of it soon. i guess all the outburst is due to the sudden change without any warning.

anyway, back to my facebook and my snacks. someone posted her mom's curry puffs on her wall an hour ago and it caught my attention.

so shamelessly, i commented that 'i want! i want! i want!' ;)

then she asked, 'how many do you want?'

i answered, 'one is enough to make me happy.'

she said, 'if i give you two, then you will be happier lah.'

in the end...she brought me 4.

she said that it would make me happier than happiest. hahahah....

well, all those comparatives and superlatives can be so fun.

hmmh....touching on language. haiz...today a gal cried in class when the principal was giving them a motivation talk. he was in the class in the period before mine. when his time ended, i was already waiting outside. but he stopped me first before i went in. he told me how the gal cried all of a sudden when he joked about the gal's response to his question. she was really sobbing hard. she left the class with the friend before i finished talking with the principal.

then in front of the counsellor, the gal said that she broke down because i gave her a lot of pressure. what??? i also went into the picture? i wasn't even there when she started crying and now i am the reason why she cried???

she is weak in the language and i had been talking to her brother to help her. but that's all. in the class, i did not pick on her. i usually act nonchalantly when i am teaching and my class is always filled with laughter. so where is the pressure? maybe she feels intimidated. at times, when her friends laughed at my joke, she just could not follow because she did not get it. but i did not scold her. anyway, she isn't helping herself to improve either. i don't see her asking her friends for guidance or clarification. she has lost her self-confidence because of her weakness in the language and seeing others improving. i hope the counsellor can help her. i don't think she will talk to me. as i was leaving school, i saw her walking past my car and in her eyes, i think i detected hatred for me. ouch! hope she can calm down this weekend and seek help.

living within my means

gosh, i so want to blog i.e. write but i dunno what to write.

i am actually drowning in piles of exam papers. it started last week with the trial. then suddenly, we have to conduct more tests for pre-exam candidates. more markings lah! luckily i have more free time as classes are cancelled hence i can sit home in the afternoon to mark.

i would rather spend it having a massage of course, but....work comes first.

i am so thankful that i have my aunt's sony vaio notebook to use too ;) it is so convenient because i can use it to play cafe world. haha...i can never be separated from the game. so now i don't have to depend on borrowed laptop. i am still saving for my macbook.

save, save and save. that is all i am thinking. live within my means.....although that macbook purchase is quite out of my means right? it is a 'wish-list item' ;)

talking about saving, am quite conscious nowadays about saving from all aspects.

save electricity usage. the electricity bill in the house has increased by about 10% from what i used to pay. we have no additional electrical items but still the bill increases. so nowadays, i unplug everything not in used. after boiling water, i take off the plug. so there is no plug attached to the power point in the house. hahaha....obsessed.

i also have no water heater here and i do not switch on the air-conditioner. i changed to a lighter and thinner blanket hence i don't need the air-cond.

today 2 colleagues asked me for opinion on purses and wallets. wakaka....one asked if i shop overseas all the time. gosh, the way she asked the question made me feel so much like a shopaholic. anyway, she was thinking of buying gucci purse so i gave her the websites where she could get some ideas on the models and prices. i am always ready for shopping ideas.

it is ok for working ladies to get their designer wallets but definitely not for school-going students. and i also cannot stand those kids with their smart phones that range from rm1500 and above. how are they going to survive in the working world next time? their pay of rm2000 a month will definitely not be enough to support their lifestyle.

ok...reality check. get back to work and go for my jog after that. lead a healthy lifestyle. eat healthily, do everything in moderation. don't get sick, so save on medical bill.

don't be easily influenced by all the colourful and tempting advertisements. have fun in life.

the day i became a fierce 'nurse'

wow...anyone who heard the way i was talking to my grandfather earlier in the evening would have thought that i was scolding him.

yes, i raised my voice. yes, i gave orders instead of asking about his preference. and yes, i did not give him any choice not to ignore my demands.

i had no choice. grandfather is almost totally deaf and i had to take off the dressing on his arm.

he fell on tuesday i heard after he came out from the bathroom and grazed his right arm....near the elbow. as his skin was super thin, so i guess the layer of skin just tore itself and he started bleeding. dad and aunt brought him to the clinic and they washed the exposed skin and dressed it with gauze. nobody knows how the accident happened.

anyway, he did not take down the dressing yesterday and he only decided to take it off today after taking his bath. and guess what happened?? haiz.....the gauze had grown into the exposed skin it covered.

his exposed skin was about 7cm long and half of the gauze was in his skin. so there was no way we could take it out just like that. the doctor gave disinfectant and he said to dab the area wet with it before taking down the dressing. however, since the gauze and skin were already one, there was no way i could do that. and grandpa started complaining of pain and swatted my hands away. i wanted to make the area wetter, yet he did not allow me to. he said, just let it dry and let it be. how could i with the gauze half-hanging onto his arm?

so i let him sit there for almost half an hour, then i could not take it anymore. by hook or by crook, the gauze had to come down. i googled for some answers and most said to soak it in a basin. and i told my grandpa just that. but he said no....just leave him alone.

then i left him for another 15 mins. then i brought a basin with warm water and raised my voice and started giving him the ultimatum. that was when the one-way order was the loudest ;)

if you have seen me shouting instructions, that was how i did it lah.

there was a lot of -'no, no no' from grandpa of course. but you know how 'fierce' and persistent i can be lah. in the end....he moved over to the sofa and soaked the elbow into the basin of water.

but wait......that was just the beginning. you are supposed to soak it for about 20 minutes but grandfather could only take 5 minutes and he started to complain of pain and no more. so he took up his elbow but......the gauze was still sticking to his exposed skin!!! yes, it was that stubborn...the gauze. but it had been left there for 3 days wor...of course new skin would grow and eat into the gauze loh. haiz.....

so in the end, i got a pair of scissors instead and cut off the gauze from the skin. i did not know whether i was cutting skin or gauze at some point. i only wanted to get that dressing off. mom was there to help me hold his hand. grandma was sitting away from us and she was closing her eye all the time. she just could not bear to look at grandpa's suffering. poor her, i think it was a more traumatic experience for her. i was still adamant in getting rid of the gauze and was working without any feeling. i could not afford to have sympathy at that time because i know leftover gauze can lead to infection.

of course grandpa was wincing in pain and not looking when i was cutting. i did not know i could be so brave hor. i could see a thin layer of pus forming already too.

after the gauze came off (finally...phew), there was more work to be done. as mentioned, a thin layer of threads had eaten into the skin and it was time for me to get it out thread by thread , warp and weft. i used the pointed end of the scissors to help me lift the thread and then i had to use my fingers to pull it out. i know my fingers could be dirty but i could not find a pincer at that time. so i held his hand while doing this meticulous task until there was one thread which had eaten into the new skin forming at the side that made him told me to stop. i knew it was a painful one when i pulled that thread because it was thicker than the others. i guess that was the last straw.

then i surrendered.....in pulling the fine threads and started to disinfect the exposed skin again with the disinfectant given by the doctor. mom and grandma was searching high and low for iodine and they could not find it. then mom found a chinese alcohol-based disinfectant and i used it. ok...that was another last straw. i guess it stung more than the doctor's disinfectant. and he quickly snatched his hand away and that was it. final. no more! but i thought to myself........i had dabbed more than enough disinfectant already by that time. i was also satisfied with my work.

phew!!!! we did not bandage the wound anymore now. there was no blood but of course the exposed skin is still wet. tomorrow, i will have to apply disinfectant again and i hope i won't get a stubborn 'no'. but of course i have to convince grandpa that i am not using the stinging alcohol lah. lol.

and, they found the iodine one hour later. it was right beside the chair where grandpa was sitting all along. something must have intervened somewhere and made me use the chinese alcohol instead. could it be a powerful disinfectant and cure in disguise??

aunt and uncle came down from slim river after i was all done. gosh, how i wish they were here earlier. but aunt and grandma said luckily i was around to handle grandpa wor.

i just felt glad that i could get the mission done. i did not think of anything else.

i did not take a photo of the open wound....i think it would be too disturbing and gross.

anyway, i rewarded myself with a bowl of hot fish porridge for dinner. aahh.....i also had to calm my nerves right??

beauty reminders to self

reminder to self:

-don't touch the face with my fingers whenever possible. (aiyoh...that is quite hard because i have that habit)

-when using the toner, use upwards swipe with the cotton pad. start from the chin and move towards cheek and finally forehead.

-when taking off make-up with a cotton pad, swipe the pad downwards.

-if possible, buy the same brand for both cleanser and toner. it works better.

-don't buy foaming cleanser or those oil type.....for my skin. look for gel or milky cleanser instead.

-look for toner that balances the skin ph.....not just any toner in the market. toning is a very important step. don't skip it.

errr...i think that is all the aesthetician aka beautician told me yesterday ;)

anyone has anymore 'secrets' to beautiful skin? well i know leading a stress-free life and getting sound sleep help too.

* it is time to go shopping soon because the toner and cleanser are running out. just waiting for isetan member's sale now. i am most probably sticking to sk-ll.

pampering wednesday

aaahh...i had a very pampering wednesday and it was so good. i purposely forgot all about work and let myself loose for a facial session. boy do i need one because it has been almost 2 years i think since i had my last facial. haiz.....

so imagine how 'dirty' and clogged my skin is. and i just ended a period of breakouts due to the monthly hormonal change too. so imagine all the squeezing to get those stubborn dirt out.

looking for a facial that suits you is not an easy thing, and i am glad that i went for this one. i am definitely going to stick with her because i like what she did and it is so convenient too. she is just behind my house here in bidor.

i only did a basic facial with no special massage or anything, but i had 2 masks. i was charged rm55. a very reasonable price. she said that she would only do more on my face after a few more sessions to make sure it is properly cleansed first.

she also told me about a lady masseuse next to her house. for a full-body massage, it costs only rm30 if i go to her house. if i ask her to come to my house, i only add extra rm5. cheap right??? i am going to get this massage soon. i have to pamper myself a bit lah.

and....while i was there, it rained very heavily....so......i choose to stay back and had my first manicure. yup, my first one. the manicure costs rm40.
mask for my hands

tada-...i chose dark brown.

how i wish all the colours on the shelves are mine. i got some tips too on how to make my nail polish last longer. that is why i love her so much. she just shares whatever she knows and answers all my questions.

you are not supposed to shake the bottle of nail polish because that will oxidize it. just roll the bottle between your palms and you are done. dun even put it in the refrigerator because it will make it hard faster. as for those opi shatter nail polish, she says it is not worth getting because it will harden when you have just reached half bottle. so it is a waste of money.

by the way, thanks to all the encouragement and care i get too from friends far and near. thanks for leaving messages here- aniq and fely. siblings who always listen whenever i complain. and not forgetting ex-students too.

i got 2 more jelly mooncakes today. thank you chinyau. not sure if you are reading this. the yellow one is pumpkin with corn filling while the green one is green tea with red bean filling. arigato!

i will take things easy for sure. but shopping??? haha....that is not my way of relieving stress for now. i am SAVING...yes, saving really hard. one thing good about announcing it here is i dun want to eat my own published words if i fail. i am saving to buy that notebook. so no pain no gain. i am determined to get that notebook before the year ends. gambateh!!!!

have a sweet mid-autumn festival

happy mid-autumn festival or happy mooncake festival.
these are the jelly mooncakes i got this year...the only ones. but still it is better than nothing right?

i feel much better now compared to the post yesterday. there is no trip to ipoh because they are not showing 'contagion' and i am not going to pay to watch smurfs or nasi lemak 2.0. i am just not intrigued to find out the contents of the movies.

it is so quiet outside although it is a night of celebration- where families are supposed to gather outside the house enjoying the night atmosphere under the big round moon.

but wait.....the haze is back, so is the big round moon visible? i am not sure because i did not check.

anyway, today, i had some 'me' time in the afternoon and now i am all free too. thank goodness for that. managed to do some marking but not at some lightning speed pace.

i also went out for lunch with a friend who dropped by in bidor for a meeting. so that was good. i can breathe a lot easier now and i dun feel a mess inside. i just have to take things slowly and not stress myself. yes, and get away from my cafe world game. luckily the cooking time is increased hence i don't have to check the stoves from time to time. just about 4 times a day ;)

looking forward to finishing my marking. so i am just going to do that now.

m.e.l.a.n.c.h.o.l.i.c.

have you ever felt sick but then you are not really sick literally??

that is how i feel now. i feel the body is sick but from outside, i am totally all right.

feel kinda melancholy, depressed and moody. why? would a moody person know why she is moody?

i yearn so much to get away from work. i am sick of work! of all the books and papers waiting to be marked. i am tired.

i am tired of minding my cafes and others' cafes in the cyber world. my time has been controlled by the timing of all those dishes to be cooked and collected and all those requests to send out.

tomorrow, it is mid-autumn festival. i read somewhere that it is to celebrate the end of the harvesting season as well in the past. so it is the time when family members will get together and eat. but there will be no such thing for me. they are just going to perform the prayers tomorrow and we do not have special get-together meal.

i might just escape to ipoh for a movie, most probably 'contagion' and get myself more paranoid and depressed.

i need to tear myself away from cafe world and declutter the mess in me. sometimes, time alone is the best for some internal cleansing. don't you think so? just like tonight. it is quite here and i am all alone. my housemate is watching her hong kong series in her room and i am all alone downstairs now.

after this, i am going to get myself focused on marking and then do some reading before i head to bed. i need a good sleep. did not get any sound sleep back home in the weekend. strange huh, not to be getting a good sleep when you are in your own home. the truth is, i miss my room. aunt will be leaving for germany on tuesday, so i guess next weekend i will get my room back for few months.

there has been this lingering headache too since this morning and it is really pissing me off.

all right, i am going to get lost in marking for one hour starting from now. good night world.

snacking saturday

it is makan weekend again.
the day started with roti canai bought from a curry house in town. this photo was taken with permission by the person in it ;)

he was the kindest ever to sms me the previous day, asking me if i wanted roti canai for breakfast. what an angel. so i got yummy, or some said the yummiest roti canai in tg malim town now at 830a.m. he had his roti with susu. it was really fragrant. the dhaal was thick enough and i had to agree, it is the best roti canai in town now.

then we had visitors who came from kl and we had more breakfast.
chee cheong fun. i had it for lunch.

then for tea, i had these kaya filled pastry. also from kl. that was the box and the phone numbers are printed on it. no idea where the shop is.

dinner?? mom's cooking lah but there is no water now. the water supply has been erratic these few days. dunno how she is going to cook.

this pizza here was my dinner few days ago brought from ipoh, domino's. been playing too much cafe world of late and one of the missions required us to cook so many pizzas that it started my craving. luckily i got what i craved for.

been feeling rather lethargic too. the days were filled with things to do non-stop. been spending too much time on the computer as well. all my energy is drained. wanted to write something thought-provoking or something reflective, yet can't seem to find the words. well, i am not a person with many words to begin with.

the holidays schedule for next year is out, i am eager to plan for my next holidays. there might not be any holidays at all starting from now till the end of the year. haiz. i badly need an escapade! i need to escape from the computer and markings. take me away to a seaside resort please. i actually found a good deal on groupon but could not find someone to go with me to langkawi for a 3day-2-night stay at langkawi lagoon resort. sad.

ahh chooo!!! oo...ooo....immune system is running low. better stay away from futher computer radiation.

one last photo.
i have found the source of my previous skin allergy, the one which left my limbs so dry. this body scrub from guardian. i tried it again the other day and as soon as i came out of the bathroom, the skin felt so dry as if all moisture had been scrapped off after using this scrub. not suitable for my skin i guess. has anyone tried this before?? well, i will stick to the bar of soap i got from the pharmacy.

time to log off.

rm20

what can rm20 get you nowadays??

it used to be able to buy me security. with just rm20 a month, i would be able to sleep more soundly when i knew the patrol units would be making their rounds every few hours starting from before midnight.

with just a sticker stuck at the gate, they would know i have paid my share to contribute and to show my appreciation for the work they are putting in.

but now, i have to be vigilant again. there will be no more patrols and no more rm20 going out of the wallet. there are many who are not willing to pay, hence, this service is stopped. is rm20 really worth that much that it is difficult to part with two pieces of red every month??

to sleep like beanie

to sleep as soundly as my dog?? usually he would lie flat on the floor. this was one of the few times he did not sleep under the car or against the pingpong table.

he had such a good slumber that the noise from the television did not make him twitch.

everyone needs a good sleep. it is back to work tomorrow after a one-week break of doing nothing much except eating, watching movies and sitting in front of the computer. i am ready for work. well, i tell myself i am. what is the point of avoiding it. so just let me get a good sleep tonight to face whatever will come tomorrow.

i indulged

yesterday.

5.30p.m.- aunt asked- you want to drive me down to kl for dinner with my friend???

errr...ok. what is there to do anyway.

6.30p.m.- in the car, off we went to klcc.

7.30p.m.- reached klcc. her friends had not arrived yet. so off we browsed and walked from floor to floor.
ta-da. coming soon to klcc- balenciaga!! just next to coach and opposite burberry. i wonder what the local prices are going to be like. are we going to see more ppl carrying balenciaga bags then with this store opening??? i dun want my bag to be ubiquitous like longchamp's le pliage. urrgghh.....no offence but i will not tote le pliage. but of course the price tag of a balenciaga is not one in the low range. can't wait to see what they will bring here.

we waited for another hour before all aunt's friends arrived. but before that i had indulged in 2 scoops of haagen dazs ice-cream. guilty of spending unnecessary money.

belgian chocolate and rum and raisin. belgian choc is better than rum and raisin. i want real rum!!! and they don't have dark chocolate with orange anymore ;( i wonder if other outlets have that flavour.

the makan place was decided at 8.30p.m. and it was non-other than madam kwan's. well, local food is something those who come back from overseas miss.

char kuey teow.....i order this every time here.

fish head curry because one of aunt's friend heard this place is famous for this dish. i had it before so i could compare. the one served yesterday had too much coconut milk and it drowned the curry.

assam sotong. the spiciest dish and the most sour. very good with rice.

kangkung belacan. not my vege.

and these here are the ladies whom i accompany hahhaa....with my stomach more like it. they were reminiscing old time tales, since primary school! they are already planning the next reunion. how wonderful to have this kind of friendship.

we only left the restaurant at 10.30p.m. when we were asked to leave.

11.30p.m.-home.

what an evening. luckily kl is just an hour away. i don't mind this kind of short trip especially when i am paid to eat and to browse the mall hahahhaa