gloomy first day on bali

sigh...i am so tired now....and the sky gets dark so early here. it was already greying by the time it was 6p.m. and today, we are based in ubud.....i guess the place gets darker here with all shades of trees in the way as well.

the bali i had in mind was so different from the bali i see now.
the last time i was in bali was 10 years ago and i could still remember the green rustic place it was. ubud was green and fresh. but now, all i see is concrete. concrete buildings on my left and right, cars everywhere. where are all the paddy fields? all hidden i guess behind those new shops they have built.

the airport is new too and it is huge. it has only started operating few months ago i heard and you can still see construction here and there. it was an eye-opening experience landing in the new terminal building.

i had nothing in ind while here in bali. there is no specific place i want to go. i only want to relax....but frankly, today had been rather tiring instead of what i had hoped.

had to wake up at 5a.m to go to the airport to catch the flight scheduled at 9.25a.m. it was on time and we arrived sharp at 12.35p.m. on bali island. there is no time difference here so we did not have to reset our watches.

first stop- lunch. we were famished.

our meal of 4 dishes. there were scores of tourists in this place, so this is very touristy. called ayam tulang lunak malioboro....hmm...malioboro is a place on java island.....no wonder the signature dish was familiar. the chicken was cooked in such a way that the bones could even be eaten. yup, just bite into it, and it will crush and all those bone marrow will melt in your mouth too. it was suffice for lunch.

then we started our journey to ubud....it took forever to reach ubud....about 3 hours because of the traffic. horrendous!

we drove to monkey forest but did not go as it was drizzling....then we decided to go to spa instead. yeah! i was really looking forward to this as my muscles had been aching since i went for 4 rounds of brisk walk around proton city lake on thursday and then shopping in isetan on friday.

we went to sedona spa in ubud recommended by a friend....cheap and good.

see how gloomy and cloudy it was......this was taken at 6 plus. already turning dark.

we all chose balinese boreh for our treatment type and were led to a double room.

A relaxing one hour massages using a combination of techniques.  This is followed by
a Balinese boreh body mask, which helps in regulating blood circulation and
reducing muscle aches and rheumatism. It makes the skin more elastic and assists the
body & recovers from fever and flu. This is not recommended for people with high
blood pressure and pregnant women. Feel the warm and tingly sensation after
application. Finally, you relax with a hot shower.
from sedona spa's website: http://www.sedonaspa-ubud.com/body-treatment.asp

after the treatment, we were given a cup of ginger tea and some fruits.
 

next, it was time for dinner. someone recommended naughty nuri's for their spare ribs and had even said that it was one of the best spare ribs she had ever eaten.

hmm...unfortunately, i beg to differ.

find the stall with the smoke....that was what my hired driver said.
they were grilling the ribs there outside.

local beer...very smooth and 4.7% alcohol content.

our ribs and bratwurst. frankly speaking, i enjoyed my beer and bratwurst more than the ribs.

the ribs were lathered and slabbed with lots and lots of thick barbecue sauce, no doubt the cook's secret and it was not bad. but the taste of the meat was bland and tasteless. the meat had not been marinated long enough and we had a feeling that they had boiled the ribs once before putting them on the grill. only this way could they ensure fast serving on the tables. the meat all came out of the bones as soon as our fork and knife cut into it. that tells you something right?

well, i hope to do some exploring and exploration in ubud. gosh, i will hate the drive to kintamani so much. given a choice, i would rather sit in the middle of a cafe in the midst of the terraced paddy field in ubud and not even venture out. my sister will kill me.

ok, time to get my sleep and let's hop for a sunny day tomorrow.

it's a closure

grandpa passed away on 7 november 2013, thursday 5.30p.m.
at that time- brother was in kl. i was in the cinema in ipoh. only mom and dad were home to send him to his next journey. well, it was good that grandpa had them with him. it made his going more comforting....i hope.
brother and i were home the past few days before he passed away so i guess in spirit we were home.

how did he pass away?  of old age. he wasn't sick or anything. his system just shut down and from then on, it was slow deterioration of all organs. he requested for dinner to be served at 5 on the day he left. so mom and dad had to help him up on the bed and mom had to spoon feed him as his hand was shaking and he couldn't really hold the spoon.  but just a few spoons of porridge, he already couldn't swallow. so they let him rest. but after a while he had trouble breathing and was gasping.....it was more like puffing out those last few breaths of air in his lungs. both my parents were in the room with him and saw him go. so imagine mom having to repeat this story endless times when asked. gosh, i couldn't imagine being in her shoes. sure cry everytime.

i did not feel extreme sadness with his passing. to me, it was a relief for him because he had been suffering for the past few days before his demise. in fact, i was glad that his suffering ended. i even finished watching the movie (ender's game) before driving home. i mean, he had already passed on, there was nothing else i could do. everything only sank in when i was driving alone from bidor to tm. i was still chatting with the kids on the way back from ipoh....yes they knew about the news.
and of course the tears also flooded non-stop in the car. it was the longest drive ever for me and boy was i glad nothing happened on the road with all the blurred vision.

and the delay in posting here? well, it had been a round of hectic activities and nights and nights of not having enough sleep with the funeral arrangements. everyone was suffering from lack of sleep and we had uncle, aunt and brother and sister all coming back from aussie. so the house was full and we did some travelling to kl as well.

after the funeral ended, it was time to go back to work and continue with my exam paper marking which i only finished the night before i was supposed to hand in everything. it was the first time i was that slow. everything just stopped when the funeral arrangements started.

the funeral this time was a toned down version of grandma's. everything was requested to be as simple as possible.....after all grandpa was agnostic. i bet he didn't even want all the monks chanting for him.

our living room was turned into this area to put his coffin. very similar to grandma's. gosh.....everything seemed so familiar and i remembered every step of the process clearly in my mind. after all, we just had grandma's funeral last year during chinese new year. it was not even two years yet. that means another year of not celebrating chinese new year. three years in a row. so little to do then. hey, i can even plan for a holiday right?? haha

peanuts and water for visitors who come for the wake. all prepared by the company we hired to do the funeral....the same one for grandma's.

sweets packed in red packets for those who give bereavement money. can you see beanie there? he is tied in the house porch this time. he barked non-stop when we put him at the back of the house.

the canopy in front of the house.

we had prayers under the canopy this time and not in the porch as we were worried it might rain and water might drip from the holes in  the awning roof.

grandpa was 93 and chinese added 3 more years so on the lantern it was written 96 years old.

on the day of the funeral, sunday 10/11, it was even broadcast live all the way to melbourne to cousin and sister. see the two notebooks there on the television? they were watching everything.

the coffin was brought out for the final rites before entering the hearse. and the two notebooks also followed.

the hearse.
we followed in a bus. this time, the crematorium was in kepong.

it looked more modern and cleaner and less scary.

with one push of the button, done by uncle, the coffin was pushed inside and the 'work' begun. i heard that it took only about 1 hour for the burning.

once everything was over for the day at the crematorium, we had to wash our hands in flower water as a sort of cleansing if i am not wrong.

so basically that was it for the funeral.

the next day, we went back to the crematorim to collect the bones and sent the urn to the memorial park in rawang.

 those on the plate were skull bones while the others were other parts of the skeleton.
everyone took turn to put a piece of bone in the urn using a pair of chopsticks.

 the last one to go into the urn was the skull bone. the worker even had to break the big piece of bone into smaller pieces to make it fit into the urn. some pieces of bones were pinkish in colour.....due to certain mineral deposits.

and after everything was done, the convoy of 3 cars headed to rawang memorial park for the placement of the urn.

after performing more prayers here, the urn was placed next to grandma's by uncle, as the eldest son.

the end of our day's activity here.
i did not go back for the 7th day prayer (wednesday 13 nov) as i had to go back to work. the next round will be next year nearing the 100th day. i think it falls during chinese new year and we are advised to do it before that. might as well, since uncle and his family will be back again at the end of the year after christmas.

time to close the curtains. grandpa is in a better place now. i know he is. goodbye.

Give me some lights and not sounds

The Hindus are celebrating their festival light but I think this year, it has been more like the festival of sounds. As soon as the sky got dark, fireworks and fire crackers have been bursting non-stop. It is really irritating especially those that will whizz all the way to your house and explode when you least expect to. And that explosion could make the heart jump out and the house could be felt shaking. So imagine how it is to the dog? Poor beanie. And fire crackers..... Since when have Indians burnt so many crackers?? Are they trying to scare away the demons with all these loud sounds?? And it makes you wonder whether there is any real ban on these crackers in the first place. Oh, then police patrol car did come once and the sounds stopped for those few seconds. But when the car left, then party resumed.

I have decided to call it a night From my work and rest in bed instead with a book. Since my bedroom faces a Malay village, the sounds were not as loud but I can also hear fireworks being lighted by kids in the village as well. Well, at least there is no super loud explosion from their side.

Things at home has not gone so well especially with grandpa. Naaaa he won't be affected by all the sounds. After all, he is almost 100% deaf. The thing with him is his loose bowel and urinary system and his stubbornness. He has been peeing and shitting in his pants these few days that we have got used to it by now. My brother and father are handed the responsibilities to clean him up after the mess. My brother now even bathe grandpa because he is just not capable of doing this chore anymore. I guess it is a blessing in disguise that my brother is still in his unemployed state. But how long can this last?? We have adult diapers at home but grandpa just refuses to wear it. Heck, he even refuses to change his pants for tonight althoygh there is already urine and faeces on it!!! You do wonder how one person can stand such dirty condition and not be bothered by it. Is my brother too soft with grandpa?? I would have yanked the pants of him and fight him if I were in the room. The smell is totally unbearable. The only thing that is stopping me is the ounce of dignity I am leaving to grandpa knowing what an egoistic man he is. Even mom does not change his pants and leave the job to the two men in the house. But grandpa is not making things easy for them too.

This afternoon, he was shaking due to the pain in the nerves of his arms while in bed. And he vomitted. It was the first time I saw him vomitted. There is just no medicine to soothe his pain unfortunately. We did call mom to buy painkiller from the pharmacy after that. Brother cleaned the vomit and grandpa then wanted to go out from his room to the living room. At that time, my kids had all arrived and were at the tables. So halfway to the living room, right behind the kids, the spasm came again and grandpa could hardly stand. He was almost bent double holding on to his walker while his legs were all wobbly. In the midst of the spasm, he peed in his pants and wet the floor. The kids witnessed the whole episode but they did not show any big reaction on their faces. Gosh, I was so glad they could take it all in. Brother held on to him while I quickly went to get the wheelchair out while at the same time looking for rags to wipe the mess on the floor. Finally, we managed to push him to his chair on the wheelchair and brother cleaned the floor while i started my class.

It is living one day at a time now. Every time I get back to the house, I will be fussing if grandpa has had his bath, whether he wets his pants, is it time to change, et cetera. Going back to the work place seems like a much welcomed escape nowadays. I know it is not right to think this way, but i just can't help it. Thank god there is my brother around. I don't know what will happen without him. Well, dad was the first to clean and wipe grandpa for the record. But since he is not around sometimes, brother has to do most of the tasks.

Grandpa's legs will go weaker as day passes. He could hardly lift them up to put on a small chair himself tonight. He even refused the wheelchair when he had to get back to the bedroom from the living room after the earlier episode in the afternoon. He could hardly stand and he still refused the wheelchair. What kind of dignity was he still trying to preserve?? I insisted on him in the wheelchair and pushed away his walker. Sorry it was cruel but I had to do it. Better to wheel him than to see him collapse to the floor.

Things will not get better and everyone just have to be stronger. If only there is some communication from his side. Not talking is not helping at all.

a little here and there and a closure to fundraiser

the charity fundraiser for the workplace is over and done with. phew!
i was so exhausted in the week leading to the charity concert and boy, when saturday came, it was like the climax of everything.

things turned out really well although i was all sweaty and sticky and running everywhere. i really had a lot of fun on that day and i enjoyed the concert very much.

of course, i had a group of minions who had to run errands here and there and they proved themselves well. a big big clap to them. they deserved to be my minions and they did not disappoint me. too bad no reward was given except a box of packed dinner but hey, they got the front row standing place for the concert.

of course, i as usual got the best seat. right in front of the stage....on the floor where i could stretch my legs sitting with my photographers. my legs were on the verge of breaking due to too much standing and running around. that was a much needed break. and that was where i stayed till the last song of the night.

i did not even have a chance to eat the food served and i had no idea what was served. well, my dinner was kept till after the concert....ok, it was supper already then.
my photographers and i adjourned to the restaurant where the concert crew and local celebrities were also having their supper. haha....we had to fill our growling tummies and with the presence of the local celebrities there, of course we made our way there quickly.

we had our supper, we had photos taken with our selected celebrities and i finally had a chance to drink. what a night! i only went to bed at 2.30a.m. on sunday. i was really proud of myself and how things were handled. i deserved a big big pat on the back. too bad....asking for a raise is not possible due to nature of the field i am in and i can only wait till my turn comes.

late sunday morning, i headed to klcc thinking that i wanted to do some shopping for facial cream. however, the special set was not released yet, hence i decided to go for a movie instead choosing 'odd thomas' staring anton yelchin as my choice of movie. i love anton! haha...that was the major reason.
the two girls who followed me spent their two hours at petrosains while i was in the cinema. that was the perfect plan.

 

lunch was at ben's.

i got myself another pair of running shoes. haha...i can't help it. all pink and 40% off. how to resist? the cushioning is really good although it is only nimbus 13. i saw nimbus 15 when i was in melbourne but the price was more than 200AUD. how to buy? this one is ok lah

also got this no stapler needed puncher. it will still bind your papers together but you don't have to fill any staple inside. cool eh?? that will save a lot. have to give credit to the japanese who invented this. my friend got a similar one when we went to osaka last spring and i found this in isetan here....and the price? the same.

that is a sample for you to see.

ok, time to mark exam scripts and prepare for another day of gallivanting with two ladies at one utame tomorrow.

passion

i think the kids had a lesson on ageing when they came to class at home today. it was not planned of course. when you had an old folk at home, you don't have to plan this kind of lesson.

the old folk is grandpa of course. he had come out earlier from his room at about 6 plus in the evening and i noticed his pants was soiled at the back. you could see it very obviously. there was a piece of stool sticking on his butt which had also stuck onto his pants. the smell no doubt was pungent.

hence, before he could reach his chair, i indicated for him to go and change his trousers and wipe himself using hand signals. he made a u-turn back to his bedroom but plonked himself on the bed. well.....squished that piece of stool. i also showed him the wet baby wipes at his bed for him to use.

well, i had no idea what happened behind the closed door.....but one thing for sure....he did not clean himself.

and the second time he came out of the room was at 8p.m. when all the kids had arrived and were seated at the table waiting for the class to start. that was when the 'teaching and learning on ageing' started.

oh gosh, the smell that followed grandpa as he made his way to his chair in the living room. everyone had to press their noses and stiffle their giggles. i had warned them when i heard grandpa's door opened.

mom then had to write on the board and insisted on him going back to his room to change. unreluctantly, he went back to his room. yet, he did not change. mom then went upstairs to get dad to come down and do the work of changing his pants. first time for my dad i think.

so all the dirty work began in the room and i was requested by the kids to get air freshener out to spray at our area. request granted; mom had bought a few bottles for grandpa's room.

from the kids, i knew mom wore rubber gloves to wipe the room clean. the ordeal lasted for about 15 minutes i think because by the time it was all over, the cuckoo clock struck 8.30.

while waiting for the smell to go away, i shared with the kids my experience of changing and bathing granda and telling them the difficulties old folks had to deal with once they had reached that stage in their lives where your bodily functions were starting to fail. the girls showed their empathy and asked questions while one boy was still squirming with disgust at the smell and thought. phew....that was not too bad and learning still took place.

when grandpa finally emerged from the room, the smell was no longer there and he was in another pair of clean pants. that relief lasted for about 2 hours until my class was over and grandpa went his pants again after going to the toilet. i think his bowel was also loose and he shit in his trousers again.
when mom told him to change again, he just lifted his hand indicating 'later' but what he did was to lie on the bed and he is sleeping now. well, there goes the clean bed.

tomorrow will be another day to get him to take his bath and change his trousers. that is for tomorrow.

let me end this post by sharing a photo i took today at one of  the donors houses when we went collecting cheque for the building fun.

i miss passion fruits. the passion fruit at this house was really round and big and has such smooth and clean surface. the owner said they were sweet as well. well, i got one ripe fruit to bring back. will wait a few more days before i cut it open. the fruit still lack a fragrant that shows it is ripe enough.

peace. love. mulberry

peace. love. mulberry.
that is the name i want to give my set of new rings which i received just today although i bought them few months ago.

don't you think the name is apt?? it is a set of two rings. the set was on sale during mulberry's summer sale and i had to get it. i had been eyeing them for ages. the two rings look so so much better compared to photos on the website. they are shinier, and more lustrous. love.

and the story how i only got this today.......well, i ordered it from its online website and got it sent to england to save on my delivery charges. and the kid who brought it back for me even travelled europe with my item in her bag before boarding the flight back to malaysia....gosh.....

yup.....the whole paper bag tied with its black ribbon. the paperbag was really well taken care of. not even a crease. if i had known, i would have told her to chuck the paperbag and just bring back these down here:

the envelope with a card, the small box which holds a dust bag and the two rings inside.

happy happy. now let me go back to admiring my rings. ;) and if you are wondering what is my ring size....it is 7 ;)

i am my own 'sun' ;)

i feel great at the moment. so why not cherish it and shout out for everyone to know? ;)

my work as a speaker for a workshop was done and over with. what was there not to be relieved about huh. phew! no, the above was not the gist of my talk. i don't think i am good enough to be teaching people how to be a leader since i am not qualified as one yet.

but it was the first time i am paid to give a talk and the pay was really good too. hahaha....thanks to whoever suggested my name. i still need loads of practices to speak in front and not make dull moments and also to improve that confidence level. i do learn from the other two speakers who were with me in the same slot too. fuh, they were good and i also learnt stuff from the contents they presented. am really thankful for the opportunity.

another thing i am thankful for is the end of my obsession with a korean drama- master's sun. what a super huge relief!!! man, it was crazy when i was obsessed!!!

see that face there? how not to fall for him?? those droopy eyes looking for love and that cool demeanour hiding a secret inside which only the right person could unlock. haiz......the key ingredient to a typical korean idol drama. the formula is the same most of the time.

get a rich kid with a past, then a common girl from a poor background, they meet, they hate each other, rub each other the wrong way, push and pull, and finally they get together.

and yet, everyone still falls for the same plot again and again. are we that gullible or just plain helpless when they put a good looking korean idol in the series?

please....no more korean series for a long long time for me. i really hated myself when i was chasing each episode and each part of the drama online. i totally lost control of time and everything around me. heck, i did not even read the newspapers for few days because i would just fill whatever free time i had to watch the drama. even my colleagues at work were teasing me already, especially the young ones. haha. the last thing i thought of before going to sleep was the drama, and it was also the first thing i thought of when i woke up. haha....i can really be obsessed when i am really into something.

thank god....i am over it. he is such a hobo when he is not acting, so don't worry, he is not that good looking and whatever you like is just him in character. hmmhh....what am i talking about here??!! ok...guilty of checking him online. ;D

well, despite the obsession this week i still could find time to tear myself away from that computer screen and send myself to the silver screen to watch sandra bullock in action in gravity. she was really good in the movie as basically the camera was pointed at her face the whole 90 mins of screen time. it was she who made the movie possible and everything so believable. i really admire her. and that body of hers? wow.....she was really fit in that movie. not those skinny thin kind, but healthy fit type. what the heck, she was blasted to space in the movie, of course she had to train to be fit for the role. that would be the kind of body i want. even those teen boys i brought with me were in awe of her body.

this was my supper for that night....not that i was hungry at all after that gcb meal from mcdonalds.
i wonder if it was my meal that day that caused my stomach to feel uncomfortable. it felt like gastritis for a few days with too much stomach acid being released and i felt a gnawing pain in the tummy all the time. there was no nausea or burping whatsoever. i felt the need to put food in the tummy too. went to the doctor yesterday and he prescribed omeprazole and it did help. i did not feel the gnawing pain in the tummy anymore. he pressed and pressed my abdomen to see if there was any particular area that was specifically in pain, but there was none of course. just that stupid gnawing pain.
i hope it won't recur. everything is under control now.

i am still wondering what could possibly be the cause of this pain. could taking glucosamine powder early in the morning hurts the tummy lining? my aunt takes that every morning before meal as soon as she wakes up and she does not have any side effects. should i change this habit of taking glucosamine powder early in the morning to like noon after meal?? but i do take my glucosamine powder mixed in water together with my breakfast at the same time. could it be i have more sensitive stomach? or could i have taken too much dosage?

one thing at a time, finish my pills prescribed by the doctor. then on monday, start back the glucosamine powder but not early in the morning when the tummy is empty. see if it is kinder to the stomach this way.

last but not least....another thing to cheer me up....haha...from my sis. i will be getting two of the same thing from two sisters. am i the luckiest sister in the world or what? both saw the bottle and thought of me and got it...but at different times. one was supposed to let my brother bring it back last month, but she forgot. hence the other bought the second one when she saw it last week. kaka....the gals are going to be so jealous.

i am going to have a good sunday tomorrow.....with enough time to read the morning papers and laze around in the house...slowly marking all the books i have. woohoo....happy sunday people.

my knee.....s ;(

you know my life is very busy when you don't see me updating even on a weekly basis.

and it is also very tiring.....even someone as far as australia knew how tired i am by just reading what i wrote. hahaha.....it is not an exaggeration...i just quote what was said.

i will blame the exhaustion on my knee. haiz....my knee....i feel as if i have a 50-year-old person's knee and it is very demotivating to go through the day because of this.

the above is a picture taken on my follow-up consultation at the sports clinic before i was injected with my third round of hyalgan gel last friday. it was supposed to provide me relief and nutrients for the knee.....but i think i overdid the walking after that in midvalley. ouch. i really do feel sharp pain on both sides of the knee till today. what have i done??

that red dot there is the place where the needle went in and there is still a patch of blue-black near the area this time around. the last 2 times i had the injection few months before, i don't recall having blue-black patches.  again, is it the stress from my trip to midvalley after that??? regret regret.

this here is a transdermal glucosamine cream recommended by an ex-colleague to apply on the joint area. it is available in singapore and i have told someone to help me get it there. hope it works.
even the right knee is in pain now. the knees are creaking like rusty hinges. just put your palm on my knees, then tell me to straighten my legs, you can feel the creaking. i want to cry!

been lying real low on the exercise circuit now because of this. brisk walk is also not in the list at the moment. but because of this lack of exercise and not breaking into a sweat, it makes me weary and lifeless. i really can't wait for the holidays to come so i can really rest and not think about work. i need a break.

here are the things i did after my injection.

first stop: breakfast at yeast, in bangsar with my brother who had willingly followed me that day.

our flat white and latte.

breakfast.....or brunch..........it was at about 11 and we really did not have lunch that day......just popcorn when we watched our movie- the butler. a really good film with a really wonderful cast. but it was not for everyone though....only for serious movie-goers.

also did some shopping there in the malls...midvalley and the gardens. so you know what killed my knees now. sob sob.

got an adidas short-sleeve hoodie jacket.....great discount! 60% off. something i have been looking for ages.

a pair gladiator sandals from clarks...50% off.

and we got a pair of runners for dad from mizuno...

and i got to go to melissa, a shoe shop to try their shoes.....to check my size....

because i got a pair from australia but it was slightly big. boohooo....

their collaboration with karl lagerfeld.

the pair that i got from aussie. it is slightly long but it won't fall off my feet. the price is cheaper than buying it in malaysia.

mr lagerfeld on the side of the shoe.

ta-da. 8 is my size at melissa, but according to the sales assistant, this collection was slightly bigger so i should be wearing one size smaller. i tried their flats, i wear size 8.
but i don't think i will buy this brand in malaysia since they have better sale prices in aussie from the website. i just have to check my size before buying. how comfortable are they? i don't really know yet...i have yet to wear mine.

so that was alst friday.

and yesterday, i had a meeting and after meeting, it was baskin robbins with a friend. it was more of a friend being there for another friend session. gosh, i was  there just as a listener, being an outlet for her to vent out her problems. poor her. there was nothing much i could help because it was family problem.....and i only did what i could, listen and give my support for her to stay strong.

and the above picture got more than 100 'likes' on facebook in less than a day.....you do wonder what is so special about it.

and i posted 3 pictures about donation drive for the school today, and it had barely got to 35 'likes' after half a day. haiz. disappointed.
people still don't want to donate to their alma mater. and we have to go around the town next week, walking from shop to shop asking for donation. how horrible and terrifying.

i will make sure i put on my runners and make sure i keep my legs rested. i will definitely need icepacks on the knees after that walkabout. sob sob sob.