shitty nite

this is going to be a whining post. so just ignore me. i just need to yap.


i am just so stressed. i haven't had any real proper rest for the past 2 weeks. rest for me means having nothing related to work to think about and i can think of happy stuff. things that can make me happy and things that can put a smile on my face.


i was sick as well...two days ago. had a cold and a fever. and i have just sneezed...twice in the past few seconds...so i hope it won't come back to me. the weather has just been too unpredictable for the past few days. it is a cool night and i wish i can snuggle under the blanket.


but the pressure to complete what i have started is there. why am i the only one who is suffering? shit! f**K!!! i really wanna give up but i can't. not for my sake...no! i am not doing the work for me. but why are those involved just so complacent and not give a thought to all the sweats and tears we have put in?


i am so fed up. i am just counting the days till this work is done. i dunno if i still have the fire to keep going on looking at the attitude of the rest. i can't work alone. we also need encouragement to carry on. we need to see the enthusiasm in you...that is our only energy supply.


i will not forget this suffering, this torture. do i want to put myself in this sort of trouble again next year? no. don't tell me about your wins or your loses...i don't care. i have done my part.