Haiz....

Sometimes you do wonder what is the point of doing so much or being so capable of doing the tasks given to you when in the end, you are just going to be alone and what you are paid is a pittance compared to the amount of hard work you have put in.

I have a friend who was not your brightest student in secondary school  not was she ever good at any sports. But looking at her life now, I think she has got so much a better deal. The winning factor?? Get a good husband who can provide for all your needs and the better if is if he is rich too. She is right now having a holiday with her kids since they don't follow the public school holiday calendar. They go to international school. So yeah. They are having their summer holidays now. She can travel anywhere she wants to anytime she wants. How envious I am of her.

But of course I think I am just being bias and singling out one such case. Why am I feeling this way? Do I have the urge to get married?? Well, who doesn't want a blissful life with a good companion. But I do known that it won't come easy. Good things won't come so easily and I have never been the lucky one who hits the jackpot anyway. I won't go to the extend of registering with an online match-making website so that I can get dates. My colleague is one who has found success in such service and I am happy for her. But that also means that I have one less companion next time come holidays.

It must be seeing all those happy couple posts that is making me feel this way now. And I also have a couple living with me here in my rented house. Hence there is no way for me to escape from seeing everyone in two. Add some pressure from work and you get me in this state now. The thought of quitting job has come up again in my head. Oh gosh.  The job is suffocating at the moment. If one is to do everything that is asked to the exact, there will be no time in the afternoon at all. And with the facilities we are given and the kind of non-existing reward in the system, motivation is not easy to come by for sure. That is why i am feeling kinda downhearted I guess.

Even the coming two-week break is not going to offer much of a break with the exam papers to set, photos to edit, the charity drive to promote, etc. I wish to just don't care. But knowing me, it will be impossible. I need to get away... Maybe go crazy in a shopping spree. But oh, I don't have that much spare cash to spare.

Short term solution - go to sleep now and hope that I will get a sound one and wake up with a really fresh mind to face whatever shit is coming the next day. Better not mess with me tomorrow.