good to better?

it is that time of the year again when school ends and goodbyes are inevitable.
everyone was looking forward to this holiday the only thing on their mind is- REST. that is all they want. it has been a hectic year and i also want my rest.

i feel rather lethargic and exhausted. there will be no specially planned trip this month nor in december. i will just sit at home and rest and recuperate and rejuvenate.

i got a special send-off this year in the form of this hello kitty cake below.
well, the cat's head looks more like a bear's but nonetheless, her effort and thoughts totally touched me. i did not expect this at all. it is this kind of gesture which tells me that what i have been doing all this while is worth it and i am on the right track.

the cake is also accompanied by a long letter. the card was given earlier this month. tears welled up in the eyes the first time i read that letter. this kind of thing is one of the reasons why i am still doing what i am doing now. but every year, i have got kids pushing me to leave and to charter another career path. one of the contents of this letter above also urged me to leave.

if they think i am doing a good job, why do they want me to leave? do i deserve much better than the good i am already getting now??

but the reality is of course- do i have the courage to step out of my comfort zone and start from the beginning with nothing in another field. i wish someone can just pluck me out and put me in whatever job they think i can do and i will start working. but of course, it will do nothing to improve my courage level and i will still stay the cowardly me. it takes fear to have courage and it takes trial and fall to earn the reward. and i....i don't have the courage to start all over. :_(