the sending off

it was time to send off grandma in this post. the date was 26 january 2012 and the time was 10a.m.

we were all to be ready by 8a.m. and the house was bustling with everyone here and there getting ready amidst the daze of still not having enough sleep.

uncles from slim river bought breakfast of roti canais but we hardly had time to eat because guests started coming at 8a.m. too.

the first group to arrive was none other than grandpa's best friend, the tans.

mr tan had to converse with grandpa via the small whiteboard because of grandpa's deafness. he is actually older than grandpa but very much stronger. i over heard grandpa saying that he thought he would leave earlier than grandma and also that he staying in the house was useless while grandma would still be of use. gosh... i choked inside when i heard that. it would be hard to communicate with grandpa but i hope he could feel our love and care for him in the house.

when the crematorium caretaker and undertaker came, we were all rushing through our breakfast. we all stood at the kitchen table, all of us- the grandchildren, stuffing as much roti canai as we could into our mouth and chewing and swallowing because we knew lunch would definitely be later than usual. it was quite a funny scene.

when we were ready, we all gathered around grandma's coffin and it was time to perform the final rites before the coffin was closed. it was quite an emotional scene and everyone was teary.

in this photo, you can see grandma being covered with a 'blanket' bought my aunt which was to be burnt with her. it could only be bought by a daughter who is married. grandma looked so peaceful and at peace under the blanket.

then grandaunt's son taught showed us how we could say our final farewell to grandma. we kissed our fingers and placed it on grandma's forehead in a gentle pat. it was really emotional as everyone took turns to do it. i was standing at the foot of the coffin snapping away with my camera while tears streamed down my face.

then we were to leave the living room as they were closing the coffin. we had to turn our backs too as they wheeled the coffin out so as not to make grandma miss us or feel sad for leaving us.

then the coffin and the prayer tables were put on the road outside the house for the final prayers.

all the flower wreaths were also placed outside.

time to do some final prayers before the sending off. it included bowings, kneeling and circling the coffin.

circling the coffin.

going into the house to place the joss sticks at the temporary grandma's altar we have placed next to the main prayer altar at home.

then after a short break, it was time for guests to pay last respect to grandma while we all stood next to the coffin. first was the lim clan, then the chew clan (grandma's side), followed by relatives by marriage, members of associations and finally neighbours and friends.

we bowed back as gratitude to guests who came.

then my camera's battery was exhausted and my neighbour stepped in with her dslr and took over the photography duty. bless her. she even followed us all the way to the crematorium with her husband. it was totally not planned.

the coffin was wheeled into the hearse and all tables were taken away and the wreaths too. the group managing the funeral was really professional and fast in their duties so we really had an easy time.
the eldest son was to lead the way.

this is the hearse which the eldest son would later sit in to accompany the coffin to the crematorium while the rest of us followed in a bus.
the convoy following the coffin out all the way till the main road of our housing area. i was tearing up again here thinking that it would be the last time grandma walk out of our house and i was not the only one. i heard sobbing around me...and i shall not name them here.

this photo was taken from the bus, we used the highway to go to kampar.

we reached in less than 90 minutes due to clear traffic.

it wasn't straight to the crematorium. we had to burn more joss sticks at the reception area of the burial ground and they let us go for toilet break. phew!


this place is after temoh and before kampar on the right hand side if you are travelling north.

the bus they chartered for us. really comfortable and clean.

grandma's coffin already in the furnace ready for burning.

a monk performing the rites before the burning.

each of us held a burning joss stick and one unlit joss stick to place in front of the coffin. the ashes of the joss sticks were collected and put into a red packet and then poured into the urn which was used to place joss sticks at the memorial park the next day.

after placing the joss sticks, it was time to walk over a burning pan of gold paper. i think it is for the purpose of cleansing. we were also told to dip our hands into a bucket of water filled with flowers and run our fingers through our hair with wet hands to bring us luck after the solemn affair.

all backs turned away from the furnace as they lit it. we did not hear anything behind us, only the chanting of the monk and the sounds of bell. the vibrant colour tee shirts we brought to change were placed on our right shoulder. i do not know what that signifies.

after that, everyone got a red packet each and took a bite of the cake used for prayer. it was also meant for luck.

the 2 elder sons led the group to leave the place. everything was over then. the bones and ashes were to be collected the next day. again, the eldest son must be there.

everyone in their colourful tees posing for a group photo. yes, everyone who came was in the photo.

we headed to a restaurant in tg malim for lunch after that. everyone was famished and all dishes vanished from the table in minutes.

that was the end of ah ma's funeral.

the house was spick and span when we returned from kampar thanks to mom's relatives who mopped and swept and rearranged the furniture and also brought the dog out from the back to the porch. it was as if nothing had happened in the house when we returned because everything was back at their places just like before ah ma's passing. it made it so much easier to accept.

*everyone is taking a break tomorrow and most of us will head to klcc and pavilion to do some shopping. so don't worry about us not being able to accept it. we are coping really well and supporting each other. thank god for close relationship with aunts, uncles and cousins.