gladly, not as extreme anymore. although sometimes there were moments when it would all come back. like on saturday morning, when i had to drive back to work at 7a.m. for a short activity from tm. i just could not stand staying another day in the quiet house on friday, so i came back to say goodbye to attie.
on that saturday morning while on the highway to work, i felt like making an exit at all the turns i saw and make a u-turn back home. i dreaded going to the workplace that much.
kids have been giving me comments that i am fiercer and cooler this year. they taught that as i assumed a post in the disciplinary board, that would be my stance. what they did not know was that i was actually gloomy and disinterested. well, at least now i know my unsmiling look can scare kids from metres away. yup, some shot into their classes as i made a glance as though they had seen a ghost. however, there was also an sms informing me that my smiles were missed and he looked forward to seeing the happy me after he knew my state of unhappiness. how sweet was that.
the week is going to get busier starting from today so i guess i won't have much time to wallow in whatever bad mood there is. and i have got a notebook too, so there will be more time to waste online doing unnecessary things like opening my cafe world again, animal paradise, home inn and barn buddy. i have not touched them since christmas.
there is also another habit i am going to put into practice....painting my fingernails in purple. that is one way of channeling all the bad vibes onto the nail. some said that the nails looked like having been poisoned in that shade. well let me just pour all the poison in my head onto the nails then. better than keeping them all inside me. i am also curious to see how long a bottle of nail colour can last if you paint your nails every week in that same shade. we will just wait and see eh. the bottle is in the fridge now. i read that it is one way of making them last in our hot weather.
and i hate reading the newspaper nowadays. there is just too much sadness. what have become of my country? they refused to call those who cause harm to another religion terrorist and did not give answer when asked if isa would be used against them. i am just so angry and disappointed seeing all the cover-ups and denials. it would be stupid to let one word break the integrity in us. and if the word be made exclusive, can i not sing my state song then?
1 comment:
It is very sad indeed. Now we are just like Afghanistan. The politicians and the cops are making all kinds of contradictory statements assuming we Malaysians are stupid and Can't even think for ourselves?
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